I watched ‘Wild’ (featuring Reese Witherspoon) tonight at the cinema with my roommate. I left with this question on my mind: “Is the reason why I’m so hard on myself and constantly hurt by the past because I don’t know how to behave any differently?”
Maybe I need to learn to give up the fight and forgive myself for past mistakes. I’m worried I will be a completely different person if this changes. It would probably be for the better but I’ve had to cope with feeling this way for many years and the feeling is second nature. Would it make me less interesting? How different would I be? Would any creativity within myself suffer?
It’s going to take more than this post to encourage this forgiveness. I’m not entirely sure where to start. For now, when I go to sleep tonight, I will avoid those sad memories and think of the future. I haven’t done much of that lately.